I feel like I’ve started every sporadic post I’ve written lately with, “Hey, so it’s been a while and I’ve been busy because of XYZ reason, blah blah blah…” Which isn’t a lie because I have.
I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s also a bit egotistical to perhaps start a blog post like that as if the World and his wife are waiting for my next amount of word vomit to majestically appear. But, I’ve decided to write this post for myself as like a “Dear, Diary…” post to get a few things off of my chest and why JB has been oh so neglected over the last few months.
Part of me can’t help but feel that I’m not a fan of my blog name anymore either. I chose it when 21 year old me wanted something short and punchy in comparison to my previous blogs and when I wanted to focus purely on fashion and beauty but times have changed since then as I only properly started blogging frequently on here towards the end of 2015. Despite me mentioning this to a few of my friends and family they’ve all said, “Don’t change it! I think it sounds good!” Maybe, Idk… Maybe I’ll just keep it for now. Anyway, that’s partly one reason why I haven’t really blogged much recently.
Other reasons consist whilst working full time and also juggling a part time Master’s on the side. It doesn’t sound like a lot but believe me it really is! Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy the Master’s but for a part time course it is unbelievably intense!
A side from these things, I’ve not really felt myself over the last few months. I’ve not been feeling inspired or motivated and as if my whole creativity and enthusiasm has been zapped out of me like I don’t really care about anything. There are a number of things that are making me feel this way and one of them being that I don’t really want to live in Winchester anymore. I loved being a student there but it’s not the same anymore and part of me wants to now move on as it’s given me everything that it has to offer.
Some of this stems from working in a very small office and working on my own a lot of the time. There’s nothing wrong with the company or anyone I work with but when you’re generally working on your own and with people twice your age it can feel incredibly melancholy. I’ve always been a bit of a social butterfly within my close nit group of friends and when I don’t have that anymore it makes me feel quite lost.
I also miss my family and don’t really have that many friends that still live here or that I see on a regular basis which makes me feel quite isolated. I go to work, I come home. I go to work, I come home on repeat five days a week. My friends that do still live here are generally busy doing their own thing so it’s not as simple as a let’s pop by for a quick cuppa and a catch up.
I know that this is all part of growing up but it is unbelievably hard. Just to clarify, I’m not having any issues with Greg personally but when I try and explain this to him, I think he only understands to an extent as he’s never moved away from home as Winchester and Hampshire are home for him. He regularly sees his friends and has hobbies he genuinely enjoys that keeps him occupied. I have plenty of hobbies but not one that involves a regular social and I also moved away from my family and childhood friends for uni.
I hope this doesn’t come across as egotistical but I needed to write something down for myself as well. I’m gonna try and start posting more frequent content again but if I’m MIA for a while then this post should given some clarity behind that. I have plenty of half finished posts in my drafts it’s just finding the time or feeling in the mood to finish them.
Until next time.